What happens now?

I realize that recently I haven't posted much, if anything. I have largely ignored pre-game and even post-game threads as I just haven't had the heart to go through the motions and try to sound optimistic about where this team is. Since the beginning of this year I have yet to pick a loss in any of my previous posts as I have held onto some small little tattered piece of my belief that things can and will get better for this team. After watching the game in Martin yesterday I found myself for the first time in 20 straight home games wishing I had not come to Martin. Instead I was wishing that I had found something worthwhile to do. As a fan who has prided himself on his unflappable optimism over the past 5 seasons I have never been as saddened after a loss as I was after yesterday's game. When I woke up a few hours before the game, I had no illusions about who was going to win. The Cougs haven't shown any of the fire or tenacity which helped Stanford pull out one of the greatest upsets ever last year. However, I still felt good knowing that my personal streak of attendance over the last 20 games would be unbroken and thinking that some improvement in any facet of the game would be enough to satisfy my meager expectations for the rest of the season. What I and a few thousand other unfortunate folks were instead witness to, was the most lopsided, limpwristed, cowardly effort I or any of them have ever seen on a football field.

The Cougs from the opening drive obviously could not slow down the prolific (when it shows up) USC offense. That was not wholly unexpected, just one look at the teams on the field before the game was enough to convince me that it would be a tall order for any Coug of any size to slow down anyone on USC's squad as they were usually, by position, about twice the size of any of the Cougs. That was fine as I resigned myself to the Cougs giving up points in spades. The fact is that in looking at USC yesterday all I could do was hope and pray and tell my friend Bill that the Cougs would be that size one day and that when they were it would all be okay again. After the first drive I did what I could to stay positive and try to look to the future, but then the Cougars got the ball on offense. To say that the Cougs gave up, rolled over, didn't care, or just plain went through the motions would be an understatement of the most epic order. Paul Wulff and the Cougs just plain didn't show up. The guys on the field, and the guys on the sideline weren't really there. Those were merely the husks of the men that have up until this point tried to play and coach football this season for Washington State University. The Cougars didn't play scared, they didn't get steamrolled, they just plain did not show up at all. For all that was accomplished on the football field Saturday USC would have gained more practical experience by playing against blocking sleds painted up in the Crimson and Gray. In fact I would go so far as to say that our Cougars would have gained more useful knowledge and experience by watching USC play the blocking sleds, because at least then just by virtue of the inflexibility and solidity of the blocking sled's manufacturing USC would have met with some resistance.

For the first time this year I have nothing that I can say about any kind of positive improvement on either side of the ball. The one thing that can be said about anypart of this team is that the Special Teams were consistent like they have been since the game against Cal. Otherwise, there is nothing to say. What us fans witnessed out there was inexcusable. Never once, ever, at any level of competition have I witnessed a team give up and not play with such aplomb. For the first time ever I am actually mad at the Cougars. I can suffer losses, and heartbreakers that are close, and even just being outclassed, but to see the squad that is meant to represent the institution that I attend and that I wish to represent down the road and that I identify myself as being a proud member of day in and day out no matter what, just not give a shit? I can not handle that. I can not fathom that. I can not forgive that. Yesterday was officially the worst day there has ever been, in the history of Washington State University, to be recognized and called a Cougar. There have been other events that have shed a dismal light on the University, even made being a Cougar a somewhat dubious distinction, but there has never been a time in which as a whole the Cougar nation has been able to be looked at as people, or as an institution in which giving up was taught, much less condoned.

In short, I am not mad at Paul Wulff or the guys who took the field yesterday because of the loss, or because of the scoring streak coming to an end. I am angry because what took place on the field yesterday validated every slight towards the Washington State Cougars that has ever been uttered. Possibly the most hated Husky of all time, Don James once said "I've always felt being a Cougar prepares you well for life. You learn not to expect too much." That right there, exemplifies the very problem with this team. They don't expect a thing. They don't expect to win, they don't expect to compete, and they don't expect to even look like a football team right now. Unfortunately, this reflects on the university, the students, and the alumni, and now even with the abysmal Seahawks and Huskies in the same state, we Cougs are the laughing stock of the state. For the first time ever I can not even justify to myself why it is I should give half of a damn about the rest of the football season. If you knew me personally, you would know what that means. I have been to 20 straight home games and 26 of the last 28. I have stayed no matter how bad it was, until 0:00 remained on the game clock. I already have plans to camp out for the Apple Cup this year, but right now I can't in anyway justify doing it. Can this get better? Will it get better? Not right now. Not at all this year.

I realize that this has been a largely self indulgent rant up to this point, and for that I'm sorry. But, if I don't get this stuff out then I won't be able to get on with this year, much less reconcile what the abomination of a football game yesterday has done to my perception of what it actually means to be a Cougar. Despite my own personal investment, which I realize is too much, I do actually have some thoughts on the game and the season as a whole that I would like to share. I don't believe that Coach Wulff should be hung from the rafters and beaten like a pinata. If anything I think that yesterday just gave this team and Coaching staff a new direction for the rest of this year. With the bye this week and a road trip to Stanford following it, they have a chance to actually begin making the change in attitude and culture that will define this team moving forward. When a team has literally every last ounce of dignity, respect, and raw emotion drained from them like the Cougars did yesterday they have two ways they can go. They can cry and piss and moan and point fingers at eachother, or they can get angry, gasp for life, and find something deep within worth fighting for. Anyone who has ever been knocked on their ass once or more in their life knows what I'm talking about, and now so does this football team. The scoring streak is out the window, guys are injured, and they have been walked on by everyone not named Portland State on the schedule. These are the times that try mens souls and these are the times that will define for these boys what it means to be men.

If the Cougars are men, they will pick themselves up by the bootstraps, put their heads down and bull forward the rest of the season. If they aren't then we will see more of the same through the last 5 games. This team has a choice to make, and so does this coaching staff. Right now the staff seems to have made up their mind. Practices through at least the next week will be closed. If Paul Wulff wasn't going to try something drastic, then practice and team activities would be business as usual for the next two weeks heading into Stanford. The private sessions are going to be the most intense form of therapy any team could probably go through. These players are going to be forced into calling out one another just as Mattingly and Lopina have already started to. These guys are going to be in the trenches, with no distractions, and if they have any respect, a hell of a lot of anger. Anger at each other, anger at their situation, and anger that they can feed off of. Assuming it works, this team will not be leaving the practice bubble the same team that got its ass handeded to it by USC, Oregon, Cal, Baylor, OSU (both of them), and UCLA. This team will be leaving with some major issues worked out, and those that want to buy into what Wulff is selling will be left standing, those that don't want to will be talking to other schools about transfers. This team has hit the lowest of the low points it will ever hit under Paul Wulff. This isn't the darkest night before the dawn, this is the dawn. I a couple of years when this team hopefully has it turned around, this will be when people look back to and see that it started getting better.

Despite myself at this point, I can't help but be a glass half full kind of guy with the Cougs. I love them and the school too damn much to stay down on them for very long. I will get over my problems with the USC game and be better off for it, but until then I will be there rooting for my Cougs until 0:00 is left on the game clock. I realize that this kind of blind devotion and belief isn't for everyone, but I do encourage it, it'll make the suffering now a lot sweeter when the Cougs make the Rose Bowl in a few years. Paul Wulff for the time being is the man, and as fans it is our job to support him and the players he has, but keep in mind his players aren't out there yet, and as such we can't call for his head. The most encouraging thing we have right now is that it literally can not get any worse and as such there are only better, maybe not good, things to look forward to as we move through the rest of this year. The best thing we can do is remember USC '08 as the day the transformation began, as I'm sure we are going to see, starting with Stanford. The Cougs are in no way going to finish this year with a winning or even good record, but if nothing else the Cougs and us fans can gain back some of what we all just lost on Saturday. Keep your heads up, your eyes on the field, and your ears open. You just might start to see and hear some good things before the year is through.

Good Night, and as strongly as ever GO COUGS!!